Paula’s approach is holistic. With Paula’s work I have been able to unblock communication with family members and get an understanding of others’ feelings, thoughts, resentments, and needs; we are now mutually commitment about the road to travel, which is chosen with total freedom by each member. What is gratifying to see is that the solutions emerge naturally from within each member. We are able to see different and fresh perspectives, different facets of the problems since we can all hear, see and feel through the eyes of others. With Paula’s help, I have recovered confidence in the future.
“Paula is tireless in her approach to support her clients and help them achieve their goals. She gives all that she has to give. Her goal is to help solve the problems that exist within the family. Through her extensive experience and knowledge, her determination to listen to each member of the family, she has helped us in assessing the situation from a global perspective, identifying the problems and the dynamics that are not working for anyone. She perseveres and is 100% committed to help the family overcome the multi-dimensional problems and challenges. She is truly there for us, it’s not about how much time she spends, it’s about her dedication to going to the issues behind the issues.
“With her help, we have been able to get to the root of the problems.
“What I have been enjoying most with With Paula’s ongoing support with my family and I is that we have been able to go deeper into the issues at the core of our family problems. Paula has an ability to help us overcome longstanding communication barriers.
“There was one period during which the problems were aggravating and I wasn’t seeing a way out. I felt the family was painfully breaking apart, with many conflicts, aggressive or passive aggressive attitudes. The relationship between parents – children and children- parents was at stake. We had had previous professional help over a few months with no results. A total failure. The more I tried to help, the worst things were getting. I was in serious pain and felt there was no way out. The disharmony in the family was continuous. The relationship between family members were complex and unstable; unexpected situations would generate mutually aggressive behaviors.
“Unhealthy attitudes were setting roots to the point where people were avoiding each other. There was an apparent fear of confrontation and fear of speaking up. I felt anguished, the future looked bleak and not acceptable; I couldn’t see a future of harmony with my children and grandchildren; we were stuck in chronically unhealthy attitudes, reactions and patterns of communication.
“When we started working with Paula, I started gaining a better knowledge and understanding of the situation and accepting the root of the problems. This has helped us move towards action and concrete solutions, step by step.
“We have been able to start cultivating new and healthier attitudes, we have adopted new ways and defined procedures to deal with those areas that were out of control and at the root of many of the problems.
“Now I feel more confident about the future. I feel more optimistic, I feel now I’m contributing to creating a family which acknowledges the different personalities and different needs, that are mutually enriching, with a creative and positive environment, where people trust each other.
“I’m also learning practical tools for non confrontational communication. With practice they become healthy attitudes of engaging and giving voice to others, especially in times of conflict and crisis, and eventually they simply become way of being in life – attentive, patient, respectful of differences, compassionate, creative, allowing, empowering of self and others.
“I recommend Paula’s services for any family that is experiencing conflicts and lack of communication and who long to resolve recurring problems, aggressive patterns of behaviour and attitudes, stuck in emotional blocks, and want to find another, healthier and harmonious way of being as a more realized and happier family.”
Carlos Monteiro, Corporate Director, Porto
When I asked Paula for help, my expectations were to improve my relationship with my son, in order to being supportive and not an ‘obstacle’ on his path. I wanted to find a way to a friendly and loving communication. I had noticed that I was starting to be afraid of talking with him for fear my communication would contribute to distancing us even further from each other.
“I wanted to help my son sort out his jobless and apathetic situation.
I had been worrying about him for about a year, fearing that he was ruining his life and his chances for a bright future. Often he appeared depressed, other times lazy, he seemed stuck in a rut. I often had negative scenarios in my head about his future: I worried he’d choose the path of drugs, or that he’d become a zombie, staying forever dependent on his parents and living at home without any goals. I was very pessimistic and the more I tried to help and give suggestions, the more he’d distance himself from me. At times the communication was aggressive.
“Over time I became a kind of administrator deciding what he should be doing, I’d put pressure on my son, I tried to impose on him my ideas how things should be, how he should be. At the time I suffered from a kind of ‘self convincing disease’ where I decided what the best direction was for my son and would pressure him to follow my direction. Unfortunately, this approach was not working so then I decided to ask for Paula’s help.
“What unfolded from my work with her was a revelation. She helped me ‘fall into reality’. I realized I had created a fantasy scenario as if it was real. It was as follows: when the pieces in my life didn’t fit and therefore I saw problems, it didn’t mean that the scenario was wrong. It just meant that the other people were not collaborating with my fantasy.
“Paula helped me take apart this scenario and see what was real.
With Paula’s guidance over several weeks of work, I was able go back to the beginning of who I truly am without the conditioning that had been glued to me over the years by my family, by society, by work, by my fears too.
I felt like Paula held my hand gently and helped me peel away the layers that were not mine.
At the same time she guided me to reconnect with parts of myself that I loved but had been long forgotten under the layers of conditioning.
“Today I feel an inner light, peace and tranquility. The connection with my son is stronger, I know now I cannot presume anything about him or imagine what his needs are.
I’m learning to be more aware of my needs and not presume other people’s needs.
Our relationship mother-son is warmer, more gentle, kinder, we are more aware of each other.
Now, before I speak, I think of what I am going to say and how I’m going to say it.
I am a better listener. I am more available to listen to my friends, or my family, with an open heart, without judging them or trying to ‘fix’ them or their problem.
My relationship with my husband also improved.
Emotionally I feel more positive. I have adopted more serene and tolerant attitudes and I am more patient
“With Paula’s support and guidance I achieved my goals and much more. This process allowed me to re-discover myself, to say hello and hold in my arms the sweet and playful child that inhabits deep inside myself and which had been forgotten long ago!
During the period of our work together, she also helped in other areas where I was struggling. I was able to change my eating habits without any effort, and I lost 2 kg in 2 months.
“What I liked most about Paula’s sessions was her warm, joyful and friendly way, her serene and sensible way with which she guided me in a very intuitive fashion through the introspective and deeper work without forcing any behaviour or feelings.
“I totally recommend Paula’s services. She helped me “improve myself” and to be happier, even though for me this is just the beginning of this new way of being with me and with in the world.
“I find that Paula is a facilitator for happiness and well being, and a mentor for self knowledge.
“Thank you Paula for guiding me in this journey of personal knowledge and personal growth.”
Margarida Mota – former corporate manager, presently retired – Porto
I first asked for Paula’s support because I was at a crossroads in my life and was feeling a bit lost. I wanted to get a job and I realized I needed to know myself better because I wanted to understand certain fears that were in the way of me moving forward.
“For quite some time, I struggled with my lack of direction. I lacked self confidence, I had many fears; I felt apathetic, insecure and I played in my head many negative scenarios about the future. At home, I felt pressured to do things a certain way which were not my way and I resisted them. I experienced a fear of failure and also a fear of responsibility.
I struggled with a difficulty of taking initiative to take “the next step.” I also had trouble expressing in words I how felt. I was living at home and had no financial independence and that bothered me. I wasn’t happy with that situation even though it was a comfortable one.
“My goal with my work with Paula was to learn how to deal with the most negative aspects of myself, and acquire the tools necessary to dealing with them and to deepen my self knowledge.
Not only have I achieved these, I also achieved subsequent goals that I set later during our work together .
“One of the aspects I appreciate most about Paula’s approach is her fluidity in dealing with the problems and with each individual which makes her work more effective. She doesn’t lose sight of the initial problems. At the same time she adapts her inquiry to what unfolds gradually while she guides the session deeper into the core issues, which are the real cause of the obstacles at the surface.
“During our work together I came face to face with some inner barriers, which initially I resisted breaking.
“I recommend Paula’s services. Her goal is to understand each person and their needs. She adapts her personality, her skills and her way to each client, which makes her work more efficient.
“Apart from the personal growth and more therapeutic work, during the months I worked with Paula, she also taught me yoga. I enjoyed it very much. The yoga practice helped my body feel more stretched, more flexible and more open as well as relaxed at the end. I believe this physical component would benefit many people.
“Today, after Paula’s support, I feel I’ve deepen my self knowledge (emotionally, mentally and physically), I feel more self confident, more capable, I value myself more, my skills and talents.
“I believe that the approaches, tools and techniques that Paula uses for personal growth (mental, emotional) and yoga (physical), not only are complementary, they work very well.
I realized that these two aspects (mental/emotional and physical) are not independent, and it only makes sense to work with both at the same time.”
Luis Mota, 27 years old
Artist and renaissance man